We maintain that children who are sent away from their homes to board may develop into successful achievers, but are almost certain to have been ill-equipped by their education for normal family life and in particular for relationships.
If your partner or loved one is a Boarding School Survivor, then you may be finding your marriage or relationship particularly difficult and confusing. You may experience that your partner suffers from some of the symptoms you read about on our symptom page, and you will most likely feel very alone in recognising this.
Perhaps you are experiencing more severe problems such as a breakdown of trust, a parenting difficulty or an affair. It may be that there are subtle but equally disturbing issues; for instance: you or another family member is being ignored, repeatedly humiliated or bullied, and your partner is unable to recognise the problem or minimises it. It may be that the situation has changed drastically out of all proportion following a new event such as the birth of a child, a child reaching school age, a job loss, the death of a parent, etc., etc.
When you discovered our work you may have had the experience of finally not being alone with this issue. You may have realised that feeling the way you do doesn’t mean you are crazy. If this is the case, we suggest that you become better informed about the issues by visiting the other support services on the right of this page and we strongly urge you to read our book.
To begin with it may be very difficult for your partner to acknowledge the Boarding School Survivor problems, especially if you are not in a current crisis; or you may go in and out of recognition and denial together. If you are unable to persuade your partner to seek help, then it may be wise to get support for yourself in the first instance. We want to assure you that although we believe that your partner needs help to be able to recognise the specific nature of wounding that has been endured, we also know that healing is possible and hugely beneficial to your relationship and to the whole family.