Trauma, Abandonment & Privilege
Despite frequent references in English popular literature to the agonies experienced by children at boarding schools, the long-term effects of a boarding education have, until very recently, remained unnoticed by the medical and psychological professions. In Britain, boarding education carries high social status, is considered a privilege, and is rife with parental expectation.
Those sent to these schools are children and therefore unable to make informed choices; they trust their parents to do what is best and do not want to disappoint them. They learn to put on a brave face, unaware of the problems this may cause them later in life. Taking their experience as normal, many adult ex-boarders disown problems in intimate relationships and family life. They may retreat into workaholism, unaware of the suffering that this masks.
The need for Specialist Training
Any therapist’s daily practice includes early deprivation and family of origin work, so the client with attachment problems will be familiar. But what is rarely understood is the sophistication of the ex-boarder’s survival self and the widespread devastation it brings to individuals, couples and families over generations.
Ex-boarders are amongst the most difficult clients. This is due to both the social dimension of the syndrome and the strength of the secret internalised shame. The self in distress is frequently masked by a very competent, if brittle, socially rewarded exterior. For these reasons, even experienced analysts and therapists may unwittingly struggle to skilfully address the needs and tactics of this client group. Hence the need for some specialist training. To this end we are pleased to offer a full 4-weekend training programme, as well as CPD days and specialist supervision.
Introductory CPD days
‘Normalised Neglect & Privileged Abandonment’, May 15 2021: an introductory day with Nick Duffell in Wimbledon on the clinical challenges and skills development in working with ex-boarders, hosted by Wimbledon Guild Counselling Training. Full details and booking here.
‘Trauma and Privilege, Abandonment and Boarding School Syndrome’, an introductory day with Nick Duffell supposed to be in Newbury, Berkshire, on the clinical challenges of working with ex-boarders Saturday 4 April 2020, but successfully run as a Zoom meeting. Flyer and full details here.
‘Working with Privileged Abandonment’, an introductory day with Nick Duffell and Boarding School Survivors team members in Lewes, East Sussex, Saturday, 22 February 2020, on the clinical challenges of working with ex-boarders. Download flyer and full details here.
‘Trauma and Privilege, Abandonment and Boarding School Syndrome’: A sell-out day with Nick Duffell in Newbury, Berkshire, Saturday 12 October 2019. Feedback and summary of the day available here.
‘Normalised Neglect and Privileged Abandonment’: a morning’s talk and Q & A with Nick Duffell at the Royal Literary & Scientific Institute, Bath, Saturday February 16th 2019. A sell-out event organised by Domini Barry.
‘Trauma, Abandonment and Privilege’: a day with Nick Duffell in Dorchester, Dorset, Saturday 17 November 2018, 10:00am – 4:00pm. This sell-out event had excellent feedback from 56 participants here.
‘Understanding Privileged Abandonment’: a day with Nick Duffell at the University of Essex, Colchester, Monday 26th November 2018. Including also a research seminar for trainee clinical psychologists.
Please email us if you are interested in arranging a CPD day in your area or for your organisation.
Please email us if you are interested in supervision.
Specialist Training over four weekends in London
Having pioneered therapeutic work with ex-boarders since the late 80’s, in 2006 we joined forces with Professor Joy Schaverien to run the first ever specialist training in this subject. Then, to coincide with the launch of our Routledge guide to therapeutic work with ex-boarders, Trauma, Abandonment and Privilege, (Click here for Sue Gerhardt’s review) we offered a new Diploma Training with CPD option at post-graduate level, ‘The Un-Making of Them‘ in 2016. In response to popular demand, we offered this training again in 2017-18. Due to our new Menswork Facilitation Training in 2019, the next intake starts early 2020 in London.
The ‘Un-Making of Them’ Training is based the theory and methodology outlined in our ‘Toolkit’ section below and has minimum written requirements. It has been designed to meet full accreditation status. Graduates are eligible to join our referral system and (by invitation) the BSS Workshop Facilitation Team. Continuing to the diploma is optional and participants may sit the training simply to update their practice.
New dates for 2020:
Due to the Covid pandemic, the start is now postponed to 19-20 September 2020, originally Module 3.
We are taking applications now, and there are limited places. For those who cannot make all dates or commit to the full diploma training, single certificated CPD weekend units (14 hours) may be applied for, if we have additional space. Please read the Curriculum first and then please email us if you are interested in this option.
Full details of dates, content, venue and costs are set out in our downloadable Curriculum. Application is via the downloadable application form. Applications must be accompanied by a deposit. Please click on the links just below. NB: on some browsers and devices you may need to right click and opt for ‘save file as’.
The ‘Un-Making of Them’ Curriculum (PDF file)
The ‘Un-Making of Them’ Application Form (Microsoft Word file)
The ‘Un-Making of Them’ Toolkit
Staffed by experienced members of our team led by Nick Duffell as Main Trainer and Joy Schaverien as Senior Supervivor, The Un-Making of Them‘ training encompasses the important new understanding in trauma and neuroscience alongside three decades of experience of working with this barely recognised client group.
The practical dimensions of this work will help therapists to:
- Detect boarding issues underlying present problems
- Recognise the survival self and types
- Understand the Strategic Survival Personality
- Break through the silence, shame and denial
- Loosen double-binds about privilege and envy
- Help clients move out of survival into living
- Ground work in the RAC Model: Recognition, Acceptance Change
- Understand the institutionalised dimension of hierarchies, bullying and abuse
- Identify and work with specific transference dynamics
- Learn to work with traumatic dissociation
- Learn to work with acute projections of incompetence and vulnerability
- Understand the ex-boarder’s tactics for intimacy avoidance and how this affects loved ones and partners
Click here to request information about our upcoming training and CPD days or to enrol for ‘The Un-Making of Them’ Diploma Training.
Who is this training for?
Our expanded team now offers specialist CPD and training programmes open to analysts, psychotherapists, counsellors and arts therapists. It is not necessary to have been a boarder, and in some circumstances this may even be an advantage.
These courses will interest those who have just one ex-boarder in their practice, as well as those who work with many, as well as counsellors of current boarders. We recommend that the whole series is attended, but each day may been taken separately.
The team’s aim with these events is to make the Boarding School Syndrome and the Strategic Survival Personality better understood within the profession and thus broaden the network of colleagues to whom they can make informed referrals.