Despite frequent references in English popular literature to the agonies experienced by children at boarding schools, the long-term effects of a boarding education have, until very recently, remained unnoticed by the medical and psychological professions. In Britain, boarding education carries high social status, is considered a privilege, and is rife with parental expectation.

Those sent to these schools are children and therefore unable to make informed choices; they trust their parents to do what is best and do not want to disappoint them. They learn to put on a brave face, unaware of the problems this may cause them later in life. Taking their experience as normal, many adult ex-boarders disown problems in intimate relationships and family life. They may retreat into workaholism, unaware of the suffering that this masks..

Any therapist's daily practice includes early deprivation and family of origin work, so the client with attachment problems will be familiar. But what is rarely understood is the sophistication of the ex-boarder's survival self and the widespread devastation it brings to individuals, couples and families over generations.

Ex-boarders are amongst the most difficult clients. This is due to both the social dimension of the syndrome and the strength of the secret eternalized shame. The self in distress is frequently masked by a very competent, if brittle, socially rewarded exterior. For these reasons, even experienced analysts and therapists may unwittingly struggle to skilfully address the needs and tactics of this client group. Hence the need for some specialist training, we feel.

Members of the Boarding Experience Team have been pioneering work with ex-boarders since the late 80's, and in 2005 they joined forces to run the first post-graduate training in this subject. This year they are offering a series of specialist CPD presentations and clinical supervision days. This first series consists of 4 days spread over 7 months and is open to professionals: including analysts, psychotherapists, counsellors and arts therapists. It will interest those who have just one ex-boarder in their practice, as well as those who work with many, and counsellors of current students in boarding schools. It is recommended that the whole series is attended, but each day may been taken separately.

The team's aim with these events is to make the Boarding School Syndrome and the Strategic Survival Personality better understood within the profession and thus broaden the network of colleagues to whom they can make informed referrals.

Practical dimensions of this work will help therapists to:

• Detect boarding issues underlying present problems
• Recognize the survival self and types
• Understand the strategic survival personality
• Break through the silence, shame and denial
• Loosen double-binds about privilege and envy
• Help clients move out of survival into living
• Understand the institutionalized dimension of hierarchies, bullying and abuse
• Identify and work with specific transference dynamics
• Recognise potential countertransference difficulties
• Understand the ex-boarder's tactics for intimacy avoidance and how this affects loved ones and partners

You can download a pdf here

Feel free to contact us for further details and if you want sight of relevant papers.